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Chapter 1

Women will never know the dread of when your dick touches the inside of a toilet bowl

-Text from Darby to Waylynn

Darby

“I’ive you shit”

I would’ve rolled my eyes had I not known it would just piss the woman off in front of me

“Listen, Linda,” I said

“My name isn’t Linda, jerk wad,” Not-Linda said “It’s Kasey”

I knehat her nas to piss her off Seriously, doing it was just too much fun

“Kasey,” I correctednot to put too much sarcasm into my words “I’m here to make the bank drop for you”

“You’re going to have to allow me to check with Candy or Desi, then,” Kasey snarled “I don’t want you stealing it”

I sighed

“I’ve been a good boy for years now, Kasey,” I said “You’re being much too dramatic”

Kasey stiffened and turned away from me as if I’d just pissed in her cornflakes

Then again, maybe I had at one point

I’d been a dick in er years

In fact, I was still a dick

I just wasn’t a prick that did shit just to piss people off and fuck up peoples’ lives anymore

Now, I just did what I wanted, tried not to piss people off in the process, and kept my nose clean

Kasey had been a mistake

A mistake I’d ether Darby’

Kasey and I had dated in high school It’d gone south when I’d left, trying to leave my shitty past behind And Kasey still hated that I’d let her go when I’d left

Meaning, now that she worked for my sister-in-laws, Candy and Desi, I had to see her and deal with her crap a lot more often than I wanted to

The wo to the entire thing since she’d walked in, finally broke the silence of Kasey leaving

“Is that your superpower?”

I turned and looked at the woman

It wasn’t really a surprise to find Waylynn Jennings standing there

I’d, of course, seen her enter the store

What I hadn’t expected her to do was to actually talk to me

“What?” I asked, confusion lacing my features