Page 23 (1/2)
"See? It’s fate Or destiny Whatever you want to call it We’reto sound like a total pussy!"
She laughed, but the proble to feel the sa she didn’t like about hi the shit out of her
It was fun to bicker and snipe with hie Never took it too seriously And he didn’t let his ego get in the way of things She’d saved his ass plenty of times and he never resented her for it
Her KGI tea her first team wasn’t Loyal They respected her They stood by her even when ittheir jobs on the line
The sudden thought occurred to her that she was a flaht hook Her thoughts must have been reflected on her face, because Cole’s brorinkled in concern and he sat forward
"What’s up, PJ? You okay?"
She let out a disgusted sigh and rubbed her forehead in agitation "I was sitting here co and self-righteous thinking that, but it occurred tohypocrite"
He reared back in surprise "Why the hell would you think so like that?"
"I turned hteous and so ‘’ and I was so black-and-white back then There were no reasons, no explanations No excuses You were either right or wrong No in between And yet here I athe death of a fourth My hands are so stained with blood that I’ll never wash the anyone He didn’t kill anyone He stoledealers"
Cole scowled, his face darkening as he stared back at her "You aren’t co yourself to that asshole"
She made a sound of impatience "Look at it objectively, Cole I turn hi out to dry and I’o off on uys have every reason to wash your hands ofme off It’s not like you to be all ive yourself a break You can’t compare your situation to the dumb fuck you used to sleep with"
She blinked for aOh God This hat she loved so et aith stupid shit and he always gave it to her straight
Cole still looked disgruntled "Those bastards needed killing Even if they hadn’t done what they did to you What they’ve done to countless woh to take the to let you get down on yourself because you don’t regret killing theuilty over killing thement, you’re shit out of luck I’uy I spend too ot up and busied hi the steaks The sizzle was loud and the wind carried the scent of charcoal and cooking meat to her nostrils She sniffed appreciatively and her stomach rumbled in response
When he finished, he walked past her "I’ spray so the ht back"
The door opened and closed and she was left alone counting the fireflies and reflecting on the conversation they were having
Was she nothing ? She’d always felt holier than thou about the fact that Derek was involved in shady dealings while on the job It had affronted her and pricked her sense of honor She’d been utterly disappointed that he hadn’t upheld her lofty ideals In her mind he’d failed not only himself and his team, but he’d failed her, and ive him
But no matter what Cole said, she was no better than Derek Her reasonsthat line, but the end result was the sao back
Worse, she had no desire to go back She felt no guilt, only savage satisfaction that she’d taken out three of the four e on
It wasn’t pretty It certainly wasn’t righteous But she wasn’t ducking the issue She knehat she was A cold-blooded killer
What was Derek’s sin when compared to hers?
She felt soo of so She’d sold Derek out, whether it was the right thing to do or not For so long, she’d felt betrayed by him, but in essence it could be said that she was the one who betrayed him
Hell of a time to have an epiphany and discover shit about yourself
The light flashed on and then the door opened Cole calass of tea in each hand and a can of bug spray under his arlasses in front of her and then leaned down to spray the insect repellent over her legs She reached to cover her tea so he could spray her arms When he was finished, he returned to his seat
He leaned back in his chair and eyed her curiously "So tell me what PJ stands for"
She blinked and then stared at him, perplexed for a moment by the shift in conversation She hadn’t considered that the rest of the team didn’t knohat the initials stood for Steele certainly knew because he’d barged through her background, leaving no stone unturned before he hired her on She was sure Sam, Garrett and Donovan had done the same
No one called her by her real narateful for She’d alondered what she’d done to piss her mother off that she’d stick PJ with such a hokey name
"Come on, PJ Give I’ve never slept with a wo"I ought to not tell you now so you canin your er"
"You mock my pain I have standards, you know"
She snickered again and then pinned hilare "I’ll only tell you if you swear to, first, never tell another soul, and second, never ever call me by my full name in public"
He held up his hand "I swear"
"Penelope Jane," she mumbled
"What’s that? I couldn’t hear you"
"Penelope Jane!" she said louder