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THERE’S DEAD AND there’s Hollywood dead, and those are two very different things

Dead is just dead In the ground Pennies on your eyes A cold slab of meat with no slaw and definitely no dessert

But Hollywood dead? That can be a lot of things Yeah, you’re still a slab of meat, but now you come with curly fries and hot apple pie

Hollywood dead is et up and have a donut, and someone makes sure your hair is perfect When you’re Hollywood dead you can die a hundred times and still come back for the sequel

Hollywood dead is the dead everybody thinks they want because nothing is final, everything is negotiable, and you’ll even get a producer credit if you keep your mouth shut and do what you’re told That last is the hard part When you’re Hollywood dead it’s hard to sit still and take orders Hollywood dead is party dead and you never want to hear last call Hollywood dead is the best kind of dead and the worst

Hollywood dead o to theyou start to rot and stink Hollywood dead makes you very careful about cuts and scratches because you don’t exactly heal anymore

Hollywood dead gets you thinking about ood news is that if you’re lucky and you play your cards right, you et the chance to do it

DON’T LET ANYONE tell you that shooting a gun in a bowling alley isn’t loud It’s very loud Incredibly damn loud The noise bounces off the smooth paneled walls and rattles every nerve in your skull Of course, everything down here under the et practice doesn’t bother anyone else But I should have brought sonified and I don’t have a lot of dignity left to spare I mean, I was dead and now I’m alive, but I’-lot dead, but dead enough that Tinder is out of the question That’s why I’ alley

There’s so pins explode when they’re hit with a 45 slug But I’ht lane, only killing nine out of the ten And yet that’s still better than the seven-six-ten split I left on the other lane I need to practice My body hasn’t et it back in shape Whatever Woret punched and I’d like to be able to hit back harder than a marshmallow Peep

Sandoval and her entourage co She frowns and her lackeys cluster in back of her like confused ducklings I’ for the a Colt 45 wasn’t in their day planner

I say, “Take it up with HR”

“Take up what?” says Sandoval

“Whatever is bothering your Mouseketeers They look like they just saw Lehost”